Yes They Can

I was lucky enough to be at the Super Bowl game in Miami a few weeks ago, to witness the most exciting NFL game I have ever attended. I love watching Patrick Mahomes!

I was also excited to see Katie Sowers on the field, the first woman to coach in a Super Bowl. However, it wasn't exactly what I expected, seeing her out there. Because, it looked completely normal! She just seemed to belong there. And then I was asking myself why this hasn't happened until now, and why people (myself included) hadn't thought more about how normal it should be for women coaching not only other women in sports, but also men. I really have no good answer except that it's just not something I had seen much before, and so even though plenty of men coach girls and women, I just haven't thought about why there aren't more women coaching men! And I am ashamed of myself (a feminist and former female athlete!) for not expecting this sooner. Because I'm telling you, she looked like she had been out coaching on a Super Bowl field forever. And yet we are still talking about what a big deal it is, many people are not used to the idea, and some are still flat out against it. But why is that? Do we feel like more traditional male traits are required for coaches to be effective at winning?

At one point long ago, I was guilty of this line of thinking (horrible but true) and have had to make my own adjustments in my thoughts and attitude when working with female coaches or leaders. Growing up I had mostly male coaches. I responded very well to a more traditionally male, harsh, firm, authoritarian leadership style as an athlete. I didn't have to think. I just obeyed. And it worked for me and I thrived. However, in hindsight, what might have happened if I had a different type of coach? Maybe someone with more "feminine" traits? I will never know but I imagine I might have been a little more well-rounded, more thoughtful, more self-motivated at a younger age. Again, I cannot really say. However, based on some of the research I have come across, and after my own experiences with female coaches in college and in the business world, more women in the mix is a good thing.

This study published by Sue Brown and Richard L. Light in Australia, examines women coaches, their coaching styles, what might be more “feminine” or “masculine” about those styles, and what kind of impact that has on their players. It emerges in this study as well as in others like this one, that one of the most important things a coach can do for a player is to have empathy- something that is inherently expressed more by women, whether they are coaching males or females. Men can be empathetic too of course. (My own father is one of the most empathetic people I know!) And I know that my own male coaches truly cared about me as a person, not just as a player and knew how to coach females. However, women’s empathy, team-oriented approach, their open dialog, their value on relationships and caring for others, as well as their tendencies to lead by example are all extremely valuable when it comes to coaching and sports!

And this naturally carries over to life outside of sports, where there is actually more research that has been done on leadership styles, and where more and more businesses are realizing that female leaders can be greatly beneficial to their teams. However, not all companies operate under those parameters, unfortunately for all involved. To this day, I still see company-offered women’s leadership training workshops with descriptions containing things like:

“How to Change Your Leadership Style”

“How to Be Project a More Assertive Image”

“How to Express Your Opinion without Offending Others” etc.

Yes, some of our trainings are STILL designed for women leaders to be the ones making all the changes.

However, women leaders don't need to be the ones to change! This is the part that still isn't getting through in many cases. Our communication style, leadership style, whether it’s innate, learned, stereotypically "feminine" or not is to be valued, NOT changed. The players, the colleagues, or anyone being coached and guided- these are the people who need to be open to a style they might not have grown up with, and be willing to see things differently. Because it’s very likely that women led teams “will succeed because of—not in spite of—certain characteristics generally considered to be ‘feminine’ or ‘inappropriate’ in leadership.” The Harvard Business Review determined this way back in the early 1990’s actually. But we are still having this conversation almost 30 years later.

I was recently talking to the UCLA softball team on a panel and we started discussing what's it's like to work in the business world as a woman. And while I see progress in sports as well as in business, I had to honestly tell the players that there are still MANY men AND women who still subscribe to an old school way of thinking about leadership. Thankfully we have organizations like WeCoach, the Women’s Sports Foundation, the Natasha Watley Foundation, and others whose mission is to support female coaches as well as athletes. And there are numerous groups that support women in business leadership.

So, we have made a lot of progress. However, there is still a long way to go not just in professional sports but in our own thoughts and actions in our daily lives.

The 49ers have realized the importance of being open to various leadership styles, as have the Giants baseball team. Perhaps Katie Sowers has more empathy than her male counterparts. Maybe she has the best knowledge of offensive tactics. Or maybe she is just the best coach for the job, period. These organizations believe that these women and ALL that they bring, are the best coaches for their teams. It’s time for more of us to do the same.